I stepped on the scale this morning. Completely unsurprisingly, the number was higher than it was the last time I weighed myself. When that registered, I found myself grinning from ear to ear!
… Wait… What?
Why on earth was I smiling when my weight was UP?!
Let me explain…
I’ve been spending a lot of time lately questioning my most treasured thoughts and beliefs. You know, the OLD ones that REALLY look like fact. The Work of Byron Katie has deeply resonated with me, and I’ve been playing with the simple tool of Katie’s Four Questions and Turnarounds to shine a light on beliefs that seem very solid and truthful. Through inquiry, I am examining the relationship between thought and feeling. Our beliefs seem to behave as filters that distort how our minds create our worlds. What we create, we project. What we project is what we experience.
Anyway, I’ve been testing out the veracity of my precious beliefs. So far, no belief I’ve held up to the light of inquiry looks the same as it did before. When you shine a light on a “monster” made of shadow, it can only cease to become a monster and be seen for what it is.
I won’t explain the specific guidelines of The Work here, but I’m happy to share Byron Katie’s resources if you’re interested. Email me at angie@angiegoencoaching.com, and I’ll send the information your way. Anyway, I did an abbreviated version of The Work on this belief:
🔸”Life is better when I’m thinner.”
1. Is it true?
Yes
2. Do I absolutely know that it’s true?
No.
I have experienced the exact opposite, actually. My weight was going down too much, and I became slightly worried about it. My clothes were getting too baggy. I didn’t feel my best. I didn’t WANT to be thinner.
3. How do I react, what happens when I believe that thought?
I am VERY focused on my body and my weight. I spend a great deal of time and energy carefully planning, monitoring my behavior, and taking data. If my weight goes up “too much,” the story consumes my thoughts. I get more easily agitated with myself and with others. I judge my body more harshly. I am not present in my current life, because I am too busy thinking about the past when I was thinner or trying to problem solve for the future about what I need to do to lose weight. It feels like a psychological and emotional drain.
4. Who would I be without that thought?
Without the thought, I would be freer in the body I have. I would be more present in my life, because it wouldn’t feel like I needed my body to be thinner to live a better life. I would have more mental space and opportunity for new thoughts and ideas to come in. And if I did want to reduce my body weight for some reason, it wouldn’t seem like such a dire or necessary task to do so. It wouldn’t feel like my well being was dependent upon a thinner body.
Turnarounds (Opposite of the original belief):
The point of these statements is to try them on and see if they’re just as true or truer than the original belief:
🔹 Life is WORSE when I’m thinner.
I can see this. If I get too thin, my clothes don’t fit. I feel super duper cold all the time. My immune system doesn’t seem to function as well.
🔹 Life is better when I’m HEAVIER.
I can see this one, too. I had some amazing experiences when I was heavier that I won’t ever have again. I married the love of my life. My heavier body carried and birthed and fed a human. I met wonderful people and formed incredible relationships.
Weight loss is very much like a religion. Many of us were indoctrinated into the Church of Dieting at a formative age, and we absorb and adopt its beliefs without questioning them. We are so caught up in the stories we innocently believe that we never bother to see if they’re actually true for us. Much of the time, these stories are causing us overt physical and psychological harm without us realizing it. They have a huge impact on how we show up in the world, and oftentimes not for the better. If you find yourself “stuck” in the diet cycle, I invite you to explore your beliefs. Ask tough questions. ACTUALLY take a look at what’s true.
So, I smiled at my scale this morning with that ”high” number flashing up at me, because I knew I was actually lighter in every way that mattered. The weight of uninvestigated beliefs is so much heavier than physical body weight!