We’ve all had the experience of our mind arguing with itself, haven’t we?
It will take a position, then refute it. Then the “...yeah, but’s” and the “what about’s” rise up and talk back.
Back and forth.
On and on.
Until we are in a full on ruminative match with ourselves attempting to find our way out of the ping pong with even more thought.
Regardless of how familiar that pattern is for many of us, it can be consuming, exhausting, and ultimately fruitless. And sometimes, it can feel nearly impossible to get out of that cycle once the back and forth begins. Most of the time, we don’t even realize it is a cycle at all. We’re too “in it” to even be consciously aware of what’s going on.
Most people see rumination like this as a problem, because it can be so distracting and uncomfortable, especially if it happens habitually. I get that, and I’m not disagreeing that the experience of it can really suck!
But I had an insight about this pop in when I was having a conversation the other day…
What if the back and forth of mental rumination is not about what it seems to be about?
What if it has nothing to do with solving a problem?
What if the content of the thought is not the point?
Imagine your mind as a fussy toddler. It is registering and feeling discomfort and is naturally going to be driven to do anything it can to soothe itself. Unfortunately, all the mind knows how to do is think.
So, it will rock itself back and forth…
Back and forth…
Back and forth…
In a primal attempt to soothe itself.
What if the mechanical process of mental rumination has nothing to do with what you’re ruminating about? What if it’s simply a natural, survival-based activity a mind uses in an attempt to rock its fussy self back into a state of greater comfort? What if it’s just about the movement of thought, and that’s it?
If you find that your mind is rocking itself back and forth, you’re invited to draw your attention away from the content of what it’s saying, and focus in on the movement. It is likely that your entire body-mind system could use some soothing, but because thought is so distracting, we tend to forget about the rest of the body!
Drop your attention down and check in with your physical self. What else is going on within the setting of this rumination cycle? Is there a feeling/emotion that is crying out for your attention and compassion? Are you tired? Hungry? Thirsty? Do you need to talk to someone? Do you need a hug? Do you need to sit in stillness? Do you need to breathe? Do you need to do physical movement you enjoy?
Allow the body to show you what it needs. Don’t task the mind with trying to figure it out!
With conscious awareness and curiosity, you may discover other, more effective ways to soothe yourself than simply leaving the mind to its own (limited) devices.